


salt shaker

by paranoirs (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, I cried while writing this, M/M, Phone Sex, a ridiculous amount of em dashes, does this count as, he is getting a good laugh out of it tho, is tsukishima turned on by this?, just a warning if you don't like him, just... crack?, lwiay #109, that's up to you, there is no actual sex or masturbation, there's one (1) reference to pewds, what the fuck is this, yamaguchi pulls a yagami yato
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25520320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/paranoirs
Summary: “Yeah, no, wait... yeah! Uh, shit, that’s right. I don’t care if you’re big or small.” Kei is very, very confused and is probably overthinking about the sexual undertones of this... thing. Whatever it was.Yamaguchi is not talking about sucking Kei’s dick. Probably.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49





	salt shaker

**Author's Note:**

> when pewds did the asmr thing in lwiay #109 i immediately imagined yamaguchi doing it for tsukishima. and so this was born
> 
> i wrote this in one sitting and didn't edit it please enjoy

“Hey, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi mumbles over their video call.

“Yeah?”

“I uh... I saw this thing in the recent PewDiePie video? A–and I thought, 'hey! why not do this for Tsukki?' so, um—” Yamaguchi pauses. His cheeks are dusted with a pretty shade of pink. “—could I try to do it for you?”

Kei mulls it over in his mind. “Sure, if you want to.”

“You can just, uh, do your homework during it. It probably won't be distracting, since you're so smart and... all.” The last part is said quieter, but Kei hears it all the same. He doesn't say anything about it, but he sucks up Yamaguchi's small praise like a sponge.

Yamaguchi is cute. Kei has had to deal with that for a while now.

“Hey,” he says. “Hey there, Tsukki.”

In his head, Kei tries to guess where this is going.

“You look a little,” a look of amusement and embarrassment crosses Yamaguchi’s face, “salty, there.”

Well, _that_ threw off Kei’s previous train of thought. It probably has something to do with salt, then.

Yamaguchi’s cheeks flush red. “I, uh, _fuck_ ,” he stammers. “I wanna lick you.”

Kei doesn’t know if he wants to laugh. “Yamaguchi, what the _fuck_ —”

“Yeah, no, wait... yeah! Uh, _shit_ , that’s right. I don’t care if you’re big or small.” Kei is very, very confused and is probably overthinking about the sexual undertones of this... thing. Whatever it was. “I will get you out of there.”

“Don't be sh—” he cuts himself off with a chuckle “—don't be scared, it's going to be okay, you're going to get out of there.” he reduces his voice to a hushed whisper. Yamaguchi's so close to the camera that Kei could probably count the freckles on his face. “I—I'm just gonna gonna give you a little shake, are you ready—”

Yamaguchi slowly dissolves into a round of laughs, dropping his phone. Kei can only see the ceiling now, which is decorated with glow-in-the-dark stars that have been there since they were kids. He spots a lone moon.

So, Yamaguchi _wasn’t_ talking about sucking Kei’s dick. He says as much.

“Oh God, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi pants in between giggles. “No, no, a million times no. I hate myself, Jesus Christ.”

“What was that about, if it wasn’t a blowjob? I’m still a bit confused about the situation I was in.” Kei tries his best not to laugh.

He rubs the back of his neck. “Oh, shit, did I not tell you? You’re salt that’s stuck in a salt shaker.”

“Yamaguchi, I will never understand you.”

“You love me, though.”

“That part’s debatable.”

“I—Tsukki!”

**Author's Note:**

> please delete my existence <3


End file.
